With my clients I've discovered that their focus on the problem keeps them from resolving it quickly, easily and successfully. What I've seen is that simply choosing to be constructive about the whole thing shifts the attention and creates a space in which solutions can emerge.
But, gosh dang, is that ever hard to remember in a difficult moment! Shoot! The times I am remembering, though, are amazing. So quickly things become unraveled and not only do I regain my peace, but feel more deeply connected to more power and light.