If something is bugging you in a big way, or I should say it more accurately -- if you're tormented by a situation, the sort of a torment that is unbearable, where you feel yourself locked in a box with no way out, constantly hurting . . . the absolutely quickest way out, though it's also the hardest, most painful way out, is to ask yourself: What am I doing to create this situation? What kind of energy do I have in myself that is the same energy as this situation? What do I believe is true about this situation that may not be true?
Most of the time when we are 100% stuck and in unbearable pain, we hold a belief that we are right about something, when in reality that is not the case. We may believe that we have the correct understanding of a situation, when in reality our world view needs to be expanded. And we simply have to give up our "correct" way of seeing things and open up to a bigger world view.
This is a painful process because it is a shocking realization that we've been wrong all along, and that no one but us has been responsible for this horrible torment.
When there is a situation that is so intolerable that we are in constant pain, take it as a sign that you need to expand your understanding of reality. Be willing to give up a cherished belief, a "noble" stance, being right.
At that moment when you consider that it is you who might need to change, and you consider letting go of something you've been believing, you will feel unbearable pain. But as sharp and horrible as it feels, it is quick, and in a split second you will be catapulted into a larger truth where you will suddenly see things from a different perspective. You will be free. You will find yourself in a large space where can breathe, and where you will find peace and joy.