In our psychotherapy society we have become so focused on the problem--as a way to find the solution--we sometimes forget where we are going, and what we really want.
From giving psychic readings and seeing how energy works in the aura, the human energy field, I see that when we focus hard on the problem, we actually cut off possibilities for a solution.
Focusing hard on the problem is an activity of the mind, it engages the mind, it creates a focus. When the mind is thus engaged with a strong focus, the way that looks in the aura is that through virtue of that focus you are not open to receive information and guidance from your higher self, your divine self. That aspect of your being is always with you; you are It in fact, but your awareness is elsewhere so information cannot come through. And even your conscious mind becomes so preoccupied with the problem, it is not receptive and cannot recognize solutions.
From giving psychic readings, I see that it is good to make the effort to identify the problem, but then switch the focus to what you really want.
Focusing on what you really want sets in motion energies that will make that possible. In the energy field, in the aura, the energy becomes very open, very receptive, and those are ideal conditions for new information--from all levels of reality--to permeate consciousness.
If you are going to use your will, your determination, your focus, your attention, the place to put that energy is on what you want. And right now I am not talking about wanting material things, but aspects of consciousness.
If you want your pain and suffering to stop, you have to desire a life of peace, harmony, joy, well being. You have to want that more than anything else.
The strong desire for peace, etc., will immediately bring to light how you make war. The desire for well being will immediately bring to light the things you do to bring the opposite.
It is a brutal witnessing of the self actually creating things one does not really want--with zero awareness of doing so. However, that is exactly the value of fervently insisting on the higher qualities of peace, joy, harmony, love, exuberance, creativity . . . and if you sincerely want those qualities, you will stand and face the things that come up, and move forward.
The interesting thing is that sometimes in this process we realize that no maybe we do not want peace or joy or well being. The intensity and the drama of the absence of it is something we actually enjoy--for whatever reason. But at least you will know that, and that will create other options for you.
Bottom line, as has been so often said and so often written about, where your focus is is what you will create, what you will have and what you will live.